Writing: Is this Knight thing just a game?

I wrote this right after Rocky’s last Crown Tournament, Oct 2017

I attended the SCA’s Midrealm Crown tourney yesterday.

I really enjoyed myself. Partly because I got to re-connect with a number of lifelong friends. Also, I had the privilege to attend My Beloved Rocky and Jane as they participated in the last Crown Tournament he intends to compete in.

To our knowledge. Rocky is the oldest individual to compete in a Crown Tourney in the history of the “known world” At 75 years old, he forwarded his banner and the name of his Lady as a legitimate fighter in, basically, the one stick fighting tournament that actually has some modicum of consequence..

In general, every tournament has some consequence… After all, the practitioner gambles renown…. In Rocky’s case, he was engaged in one of the greatest gambles a Man of Coat Armor CAN make… Is he, at that age, capable of bearing harness on the field as a legitimate threat, or is he too feeble. Will his efforts be denigrated by patronization from his peers. He won that gamble, and succeeded in gaining much worshipful honor. I love him for that, and will honor him all the days of my life, as is my responsibility as a Member of the Chivalric community.

Crown tourney has “real world” consequence. The winner of that tournament more or less becomes the “president” of the world’s largest costume party/Medieval theme park/Chivalric sandbox. They become the focal point… the archetype.. for other’s journeys. (Regardless of if they ultimately succeed or fail)

In any case, The tournament is the highlight of the six months/ stick fighting tournament play cycle in the SCA.

Later that night, Rocky was recognized by My King and the assembled Knights for His life long constancy in the pursuit of knightly endeavors and pursuit. This was a right and proper thing to have happened.

I told Rocky that one of my goals was to some day beat his record… to compete in Crown Tourney at the age of 76. He is my Chivalric father, my elder. It is my responsibility to honor the love and investment he has given me by trying my hardest to surpass him, as, ultimately, I hope my own students surpass me.

If you boil it down, Knightly enterprise and living the Way of the Knight has nothing to do with costume parties, or Larping, or tournaments.. It is an inward path to Mastery.

The SCA and other organizations, including the global steel fighting community, are ultimately constructs and crucibles to learn, test, and examine one’s self through Deeds. That is a defining function of the Hero’s journey.

One of the highlights of my day was that I got to connect with a kindred spirit in the form of a Man who, in the context of our game, calls himself Rin Ravenfoe. He is a Master of Arms in our Society.

We had actually started a conversation about the Hero’s journey literally three years ago in a stylized living history encampment at Pennsic.

We almost immediately fell back into the same conversation, only this time, we had a little more time to develop our thoughts and understand the type of men we were. I think that our meeting was exactly at the right time in the right place to spur us both further upon our paths; especially for me. Some of the things that we talked about have shed some light on certain struggles I have been trying to come to grip with for several years…. Since one afternoon in Spain when the 29 lost the banners of our ancestors… but that story is for another day..

Later that evening, I got to participate in a ceremony that marked a signpost in another Man’s journey. He was placed on Vigil for Knighthood himself.

This man’s path has been winding, long, unique, and also full of trials. But that is a singular function of this type of pursuit. Perhaps someday I will write more on this…

Then, I had a brief conversation with my dear friend Doug, who’s pursuit of mastery has also been twisting and turning… We started in the sca roughly at the same time.

I have a great feeling of kinship with this man and his beloved family is a jewel of beauty that I have enjoyed and, in many ways, envied over the years. But the trials on his journey have been different than mine.

He is rejoining the path of Chivalric pursuits, and we are, as is so often the case on these journeys, picking up where we left off when our paths diverged some 6 or so years ago.

Our conversation was cut short due to the nature of the day, and we continued it via texts this morning. In those texts, there were a number of themes that are interesting and need further developed.

We were discussing the fact that the Knighthood of our Ancestors are, of course, different than the path that modern practitioners must walk. This concept touches on the evolution of relevance that happens to all warrior paths through history. Again, some day I may try to write more on this topic as well..

There is a continuity of themes, however. The need and the archetypes themselves are universal. For instance, I think for practitioners such as myself, there are two Knightly realities. If a practitioner does not foster excellence in both of these realities, then he or she is, at the least, not reaping the benefits of this path, and at most, utterly failing.

They are both Part of the whole… the yin and yang, the inside and outside path…

I have been blessed with being acknowledged a member of two modern Knightly Orders. But really, is there value in this? My fellows and I have sacrificed much… suffered and exulted in much.. but when it comes down to it, is it REALLY a game that we play? An elaborate lifelong exercise in self delusion and mental masturbation?

For instance, my co-workers don’t know what I have done, what I have faced… They don’t know of the times I almost shit myself in fear, got my dick knocked in the dirt by stronger men, or exhibited exquisite hubris… They don’t know that, for some reason, people around the world know my name. That The name my father gave me is in the congressional record. They don’t know that I have been stopped in crowds to give autographs, or been held in high regard by people of greater worth than myself, or villainized by others..

And is that high regard or distain just part of a game? Does the blood and the money and the life shed by me and those like me merely to serve as a prop for other people’s fantasies? For my own fantasies?

One of the major responsibilities of being a Knight of the SCA, for instance, is to judge the efforts of fellow practitioners; to serve as a guardian of the Fount of Honor, and to ascertain when a fellow practitioner is ready for the public rituals, accolades, and responsibilities of formal Knighthood.

But how is that judged? What is the purpose of the entire thing?

As I said, there are two Knightly paths… An internal and an external… Both have different ramifications and worth.

I have said before that the Chivalric life is not for everyone. In fact, it is a narrow filter.. only those who are broken in certain ways really actually need it…

For those broken men and women who do, the personal payoff is almost entirely internal in nature. As such, it doesn’t really matter if the external construct it plays out upon is a dojo, or a tiltyard, or a stick fighting tournament in the SCA… To tread the Hero’s journey means that rites of passages…. tests… risks with true internal and external consequence, are NECESSARY…

The external “chivalric sandbox” may look utterly ridiculous from the outside… completely and wholly contrived…

But think about something…… ALL rites of passage are, by necessity, artificial constructs.. Ordeals to pass from one stage of life to another… They must be painful, they must be exultant, and they must, in some ways be artificial.

The tribal leader that puts a test before a warrior constructs challenges in an artificial way. The risks are generally controlled, the goal amorphous… but they are constructed in such a way by this elder, by this Knight, to test the mettle of the internal person in an external way.

This, amount other reasons, is why a Knight must always make a Knight… Why an elder must be the one to externally and publicly acknowledge success…. or failure.

For make no mistake, it is not a true rite of passage, not a true test, if there is not the distinct possibility of failure.

Failure is always a part of the Hero’s journey…

I think that is the purpose of these external “games”. They serve as the physical mountain that must be climbed.. the physical stone that must be stacked… the fearful path that must be tread, the enemy that must be conquered.

A Knight always makes a Knight because he or she is the only one who knows the path of the soul that must be tread. If an external accolade is given with no ordeal, then it has little transformative internal consequence, and it truly IS just a game.

These rites of passages, these ordeals of the body and soul, produce different results ultimately, because, well, no two people are entirely alike…

I am a different “flavor” of knight than others… is one of greater worth than another? No…. AS LONG AS we both tread the same archetype,the same hero’s journey of our own souls.

Ultimately, every “type” of knight, as people such as Sir Vitus have pointed out in the past, serve different purposes, different archetypes in and of themselves.

The external purpose of a Knight is to act as archetypes and examples for other practitioners.

This is why, as I believe, the literary Arthurian Knights really boil down to archetypes of different expressions of this reality.

In the SCA, there are Knights that hold entirely different views than I.. Some represent the Knight that is barely constrained, Some represent the romantic idealist, some the Courteous exemplar, some the hardened warrior. Some play the Noble Savage. Some are shaped to play the ideal of the refined Master.

Ultimately though, externally, it is their JOB to be those archetypes for other practitioners… for other seekers.

Some must play the roll of the False Knight as well. Their role in other’s journeys is to be the Brother who betrays, the Knight who taints, The Breaker of oaths… The exhaled Knight who sins against Chivalry..

I have said many times that “we are the instruments of other men’s tests”. And the reverse is true… sometimes others are my test. Sometimes the role of a Knight is to be the exemplar of the hated.

The role of some Knights is to test the practitioner to the point of failure, or the focus of hate, or the stumbling block to the abyss.

I am just now learning the words to understand this truth in my own path… it is the hardest lesson so far. I personally don’t know if I will pass this ordeal in my path or not.. and what is even more sobering is the realization that I myself may play that exact same role in someone else’s path… That thought fills me with dread.

But that is the nature of things: The construct of the test, both in the artificial parameter of the ordeal, and in the internal Chivalric path… The internal reality.

The Knighting Ceremony of Sir Robert Downey

This is the outline of the Knighting ceremony my Gracious King allowed to be performed before him. I put it here in the event that it may be helpful for others. This was written February of 2014

If it is still Their Majesties’ pleasure, They will Call Sir Bardolph into Their Presence.

If it is still Sir Bardolph’s wish, he will beg a boon as he sees fit.

The Court Herald will call forth the Candidate.

Mistress Alzbeta will proceed, wearing My Heraldic coat and White wand of Office. She will boast as she sees fit. When she is done,  She will stand to the side, and reference the Display of Banners under which I have fought. (they will process as they are being heralded) 

“Behold, the Banner of the Company of St. Jude, under which Robert has striven to honor those who have died learning the Mastery of the sword” (something along those lines, Alzbeta’s discretion here)”

The Company’s colors will be presented by the Company, in full Warlike Ragalia. (not sure how many will be there.. There may only be one.. Which, of course, is more than fine) 

Next comes The banner of the Company of the Black Swan, affixed upon It’s Lance: 

“Behold, the Banner of the Company of the Black Swan, under which Great Knights have striven with all manner of Cavaliers from all the Kingdoms of Christendom and beyond..” etc etc… Something like that… Alzbeta will do something appropriate.. 

 Next comes My Personal Standard.

“Behold the standard of the good Squire Robert Downey, which has flown upon the Stricken fields of Poland, the Battlements of French castles and countless other wars and skirmishings of your Illustrious House. This will be the last time It will be Displayed…” etc etc.. Again. Nod to Alzbeta.

Next comes Fuyu, as part of my House, throwing Largesse from my Estate.

(small bags with dice, so that the populace too, may be reminded that one must Gamble Their Mortal bodies to Gain Renown. 

Then comes Constance, Leading me with a golden chain about my neck. She will then pause, and remove it from my neck, Delivering me forth to the King’s mercy.

Then, I shall kneel before the King. I will be clothed in a simple White tunic that ends low on my legs. Painted upon the Hem will be images of a Macabre Dance. I will be barefoot, with a freshly shaven head.

(if it his pleasure, the King will then speak)

King: Your Grace, You bring before me a vigilant who is not a young man. He appears scarred from many Campaigns. My Kingdom must be served by Strong Knights. I am not convinced. Would that the Ghosts of My Venerable forefathers, or the Spectre of some Great foreign King  give me advice upon this man.”

Bardolph: Your Majesty, I Agree, he is scarred from much Chivalric Labor.  I must admit, I am not an easy Master. But because of that, I have arranged for the Noble council you seek.

Then, Duke Palymar and Duke Andre will come, Side by side, before the King. And speak as they see fit. (Andre’s physical presence may not happen, but I hope for his council nonetheless in some fashion)

When they have said their peace, they will Retire.

The King will then look upon Me, and Utter: (If it is his pleasure to do so)

“These Noble and Venerable Spectres speak much wisdom. But I am still unconvinced. I know that Long Campaign can also damage a Man’s heart, And my Kingdom is too precious to be protected by a broken man. Would that I could search his heart, so that I may see what is inside him.”

Then Alzbeta will Speak:

Alzbeta: “Your Magesty, Heralds Record the Renown of Men of Coat Armor, but we also have Powers which few posses. I shall now reveal to you the four corners of This Squire’s heart.” (this last sentence will be spoken with commanding authority. Perhaps even a commanding stamp of the foot.

Than Four Men will come forward in full Warlike Harness. (as befitting their tastes) Each will carry an item.

They shall array themselves before the King, standing glorious in arms.

The First will Speak:

Felix: “I am Nobility, and I bring this Chain.” Felix will then speak words as he sees fit, and introduce himself as he sees fit. Those words are up to him. They do not have to be focused on Nobility.” 

When He is done, He will Hand the Chain to Bardolph

The Second will Speak:

Logos: “I am Prowess, and I bring this Belt.” Logos will then speak words as he sees fit, and introduce himself as he sees fit. Those words are up to him. They do not have to be focused on Prowess”

When He is done, He will hand the Belt to Bardolph

The Third will Speak:

Rocky: “I am Wisdom, and I bring these Spurs:”  Gunther will then speak words as he sees fit, and introduce himself as he sees fit. Those words are up to him. They do not have to be focused on Wisdom”

When He is done, He will hand the Spurs to Bardolph

The Fourth will Speak:

Brad: “I am Spirit, and I bring this Sword.” Brad will then speak words as he sees fit, and Introduce himself as he sees fit. Those words are up to him. They do not have to be focused on the Spirit.”

When he is done, He will hand the Sword to Bardolph

When All this is accomplished, then Alzbeta will speak:

“Great King! I shall banish this vision, and Retire, My office thus fulfilled.”

Alzbeta and then the Four will Retire. 

The King will then decide if He wishes to Proceed.  (if he does) 

Good Duke, This man is in your Service. If you would have me Bind him by oath to My Crown, Release him.

Then Bardolph will release me as he sees fit, removing the Belt and Chain of his service.

King: Summon the Members of Our Most Noble Order of the Chivalry.

Herald: Their Majesties call the Knights and Masters-at-Arms of the Society.

King: Noble Sirs, is it your judgment that ___ is worthy to be numbered among our Chivalry in prowess, loyalty, and courtesy?

The Assembled Chivalry shall answer: (assuming they say yes)

King: Right mindful of your prowess on the field, and responsive to the wishes of your peers, we are minded to make you knight. 

Know that to wear the belt and chain of a knight is to hold a sacred trust; that the obligations of knighthood will demand your efforts every moment of your life. 

A knight of the Society must be respectful of all religions, never offending the faith of another. 

A knight must respect all those who are weak or defenseless, whether because of age, infirmity, poverty, or vow, and be steadfast in defending them. 

A knight must love his Kingdom and his province, and fulfill most faithfully his feudal duties to his baron and his King. 

His word must be dependable beyond doubt or question. He must never flee from the face of his foes. He must be generous to all. And, always and everywhere, he must be the champion of the right and the good. 

The Laws of the Society and the customs of the Kingdom require that a knight be prow, as you have demonstrated you are upon the field; that a knight be courteous, as you have shown yourself to be and as these noble gentleman (and ladies) attest; and that a knight be loyal to his Kingdom and the Society. 

Do you then desire to accept the burden of knighthood and swear fealty to the Crown? 

Candidate: I do.

Than Swear fealty and Pay homage to the Crown of the Middle Kingdom.

I shall swear the oath upon Oathbinder

Constance shall then Receive the Belt from Bardolph, and buckle it upon me, saying 

“Wear this belt in token of your Prowess.”

The King shall Receive the Chain from Bardolph, and place it upon me, saying.

“Wear this chain in Token of your Fealty.

The King Shall then Receive the spurs from Bardolph, and buckle them through the belt, saying:

“Wear These spurs in outward token of your new station.

The King shall then Receive the Sword from Bardolph, and I shall receive it as he says:

Bear you this sword with strength, so disposing your heart to goodness that you never use it to injure unjustly, but always in the defense of the  Just and Right.

Then shall the King receive Oathbinder and shall strike the candidate upon the shoulders with the flat, and the forehead with the flat  saying:

For Those that Were

For Those that Are

For those that Will be, Be you a good Knight.

 Rise, Sir _______

Then will the King say:

May this be the last blow you allow unanswered:

The King than shall  then deliver the Buffet. 

He shall then say, “Go now, attend to your Duties.”